2023 etc

i think i’m quite an introspective person, but i’m not a very proactive person. i don’t rly care too much about the kind of life i experience because the life i am experiencing right now is 10/10 and i am generally very happy with it.

HOWEVER, january is one of my favourite months because it has got a deliciously aggressive energy. call it capricorn season, call it seasonal overhaul, idk and idc. i like january’s style !!!

so in the spirit of january’s aggy self-improvement energy, here are my new year’s resolutions, in no particular order and with no specific organisational strategy.

HEAD DOWN, WORK HARD we have a literal book to write! last year was the best year of my silly little life, and it was also my busiest. i love my job and i want to do it well. i want to put my everything and my all into making the best thing i possibly can. i want to do a GOOD JOB! because i care deeply about the work we do!!! i want to look back at the book and be pleased with my work. so this year is a year of working hard and getting on with the hard work, because i know it’s work worth doing well. bc i care! about it! with every ounce of my being! sincerely!!!

i want to write things i will look back on with pride & satisfaction!!!! whether it’s the book or the sunday texts or even the blogs. i will spend longer on things and not let go until i am done. tbh i do this already, but i will be kinder to myself about the amount of time i need to hold onto things for before releasing them into the world. it’s good incubation time, so it just takes the time it takes!!!! no rushing!! we are going to do a! good! job! and a good job takes time!!

in the spirit of hard work, in 2023 i want to become a recluse. if you think you saw me? no you didn’t. i wasn’t there. i’m now a recluse. thank you for your understanding.

i want to drink more water. i drink like ~4L a day and it has made no improvement or difference to my life. maybe if i drink even more, i’ll gain some kind of magic power. maybe i will become unstoppable.

i would like to get out of my house & to the office early(ish) most mornings. i’ve gotta buy an alarm clock that’s really annoying. i’ve gotta get that one that rolls off your nightstand so you’ve got to get up and chase it to turn it off. i set like 5/6 alarms every morning. people think i am insane for this, but if i don’t set my 5/6 alarms, i don’t wake up. my bed is TOO WARM AND COMFY. i am the sleepiest cosy-est girl. no more. NO MORE COSY GIRLY, DYOU HEAR ME>!»!?! so pls invite me to your morning press previews. i will be there, live and kicking and ready to eat all your mini pastries.

i want to run more & further & faster and i want to be so fast tht no one will ever catch me ahhahhahhaha. this is my resolution every year since i started running and it is my favourite. maybe i will go for 1 more run every week? idk, leme see. bc i love it so much!!!! i am so fast!!! i can run so far!!! aren’t bodies amazing!?!? we are alive!!!! and i am running and speeding thru the air and i am painfully beautifully alive!!! and awake and thankful for my body and the world and the dogs and the grass and the sky and the fact that i can run run run as fast as my little legs can carry me. i love running! i love being alive!

Very Specific TWP resolutions:::

i want to write more blogs bc they are fun and silly and i enjoy them. a fun way of writing, fast and loose. i like looking back at them bc i have a terrible memory, and i also currently have 489234 tabs open. so i should just turn all the tabs that are open into silly little blogs. good idea, more of that.

and then, weirdly sincerely for me: i want to be more meaningfully present online because i have spent most of our career pretending that i am writing into the ETHER, the VOID. honestly, engaging with/thru our online presence scares me to my very CORE, my BONES!!!! i cannot conceptualise what our audience numbers mean, so i have pretended that our audience, all of you, don’t exist. i don’t think that’s very nice! i think it is also incredibly silly. while twp is a container for the ongoing critical conversation between me n gabrielle, i think it is also now a wider conversation. we (i, me, ZM) could and should be having this conversation with all of you (whoever you actually are). i think it’d be a good thing! bc everytime i do actually meaningfully engage with our readers, i am thrilled to discover that ur all cool, clever and interesting people who i’d really get along with, on a human level. i like taking you all round with me on my silly gallery trips because we have a fun chat and i feel like i’m not alone! I’ve got all these mates in my pocket. that’s a lovely lovely thing, it’s the highlight of my week whenever i do it. i want more of that. so i want to spend the time doing this bc 7 years in, it’s actually really fucking weird and ridiculous for me to be genuinely convinced that no one reads twp and we are just little critics tip tap typing into the void. no more void. i will be friendly and open to whatever you have to say and whoever you are. let’s be friends!!!!! I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU!!!!

so &^^^^ in the spirit of the above^^ i will make an effort to spend more time on discord. i like chatting to people, it’s just not a habit for me to check the app. but i will make an effort to!

GENERAL THOUGHTS:::!

last year my resolution was to be more chaotic. i really enjoyed it!!! i would like to continue being chaotic. i enjoy the chaos. it’s fun! i like doing whatever i want, just because i want to do it. i choose not to be embarrassed or self-conscious or scared or risk-averse or timid or quiet. because i am choosing CHAOS instead. chaos is chic. i am the most important person in my own little world. i do not care about anyone or anything else as much as i care about myself. i think that is good, fine, laudable. i like having fun. i like making a mess. i like not caring about outcomes. i like giving in to my impulses, even when they seem irrational or silly. i really really like rolling the dice in my head and seeing what happens. i like the feeling that life isn’t rly that deep bc it has meant that i’ve actually had more fun and done more living. 10/10 i recommend. everyone should be more chaotic, whatever that means to u :)

i think that’s all?

oh - - - i also want to take up a strange and unusual niche hobby but i haven’t decided what that is yet. maybe i will sew lots of little sequins onto things? maybe i’ll start line dancing? maybe i’ll join a chamber choir!? or learn loads about the ottoman empire. just for fun. for SHITS N GIGS. bc WHY NOT LIFE IS SHORT BUT ALSO VEYR VERY FUCKING LONG.

ok that’s actually all. idk how many of these i’ll actually do? idc either. as long as i/we have a good year. love u all i gtg now bye bye bye i’m late 4 dinner woweeeee BYE!!! xxxx