Texts

hello it is Gabrielle and Zarina. we used to have our exhibition reviews, essays on art, game reviews, and miscellaneous texts on separate pages – pages which are all linked in this big long sentence if you prefer the separation. But it’s 2024 and we fancy just putting all those texts in one place so that you can SEE US FOR WHO WE ARE. If you would prefer to listen instead of read, there are audio recordings on each page or head over to the podcast.

• 
  Grenfell: in the words of survivors

  via National Theatre's streaming service

• 
  Turner Prize '24: Jasleen Kaur, Alter Altar

  a text for Jasleen Kaur's Turner Prize installation at tate Britain

• 
  The Crab Museum

  how are we alive

• 
  Imran Perretta, a Riot in Three Acts @ Somerset House Studios

  a lament for a dead city

• 
  The Substance

  there are two wolves inside me

• 
  A Study of Saint Francis, Ellie Cotton @ General Assembly

  i saw a painting that i couldn't stop looking at

• 
  The Dentist

  just like, an actual review of my dentist's

• 
  Dream Machines, by Rebecca Moss

  a text about a performance lecture on the swan pedalos at Stratford Olympic Park

• 
  Prima Facie

  Jodie Comer is the actress of her generation

• 
  Slow Art

  as I said last time, let's all quit our jobs

• 
  The Unbearable Lightness of Forgetting My Name, Noorain Inam

  a text about a specific painting, a text about painting and imagining and feeling like things are over there but then also within you.

• 
  The Purpose was to Document the Other Side

  a film by Laisul Hoque, about distance and love, in a week like this week!

• 
  Severance

  let's all quit our jobs

• 
  Work!?

  thinking about Serban Savu's 'what work is' Romanian pavilion at the Venice Biennale

• 
  STRAND NEWS

  a group show @ strand news, an off licence on the strand

• 
  Parable of the Sower

  or a review of the UK's 2024 general election

• 
  Tai Shani @ The Cosmic House

  THE WORLD TO ME WAS A SECRET: CAESIOUS, ZINNOBER, CELADON, AND VIRESCENT -- a vignette about looking through windows!

• 
  the LJMU degree show

  i still can't believe this happened

• 
  Unreal Estate

  a text housing, art and lying to estate agents about where I want to live.

• 
  The Hologram

  how to run your own peer-to-peer health network

• 
  Goldsmiths 4 Palestine 4eva

  a text about the student occupation of Goldsmiths, for Palestine

• 
  I ran away to Spain

  a text about Miranda July's new novel All Fours & the Guggenheim Museum Bilbao

• 
  Caterpillar Memories

  a story about a woman called Jane who wants to unlock her inner creative potential, through a boozy painting workshop.

• 
  I went on a residency in France

  at a place called The Mill

• 
  SHOW PONY

  a group show @ islington arts factory, curated by kelly wu

• 
  THE RISE OF CREATIVE INDUSTRY GROUP INCORPORATED

  a work of art criticism as dystopian business science fiction

• 
  It is as if you were doing work

  how do I rewire my brain, and also, do I want to

• 
  Overnight At The Museum

  a story about a sleepover at the National Gallery, in pursuit of answers to a question: what is the POINT of ART?!

• 
  Diversity Policy 101

  writing about why I no longer want to write about Diversity

• 
  The Floatation Tank

  i reviewed a floatation tank!!!

• 
  London 2039

  a story about an immortal cat, the last artists left in East London & a squat in the 90s that's still here today!

• 
  Unrest

  it should have been a horror film instead

• 
  I'm A Fan // I Want to Punch My Dad

  a review and a short story about wish fulfilment, desire and how i really want to punch my Dad

• 
  Poor Things

  A text about a matador, a driving lesson, Bella Baxter and me

• 
  Painting, Smoking, Eating (Philip Guston)

  a love letter to a painting? a love letter to limbo, chewing gum, dead time and unalienated labour

• 
  The Largest McDonald's in Europe

  but it's actually a review of Liverpool City Centre

• 
  Saltburn

  was not at all weird, just a normal and sexy time

• 
  I WENT TO THE OPERA!

  to see Rigoletto @ the Royal Opera House, and it was amazing!

• 
  Portrait of an Artists Co-op

  Welcome to our Sunday Lecture series. This week's guest lecturer is from the Artists' Co-op. Please save your questions for the end.

• 
  The Maggot Man

  fan fiction of a TikTok artist

• 
  Art! on the Underground

  Did you know there's art down there? yeah, proper interesting.

• 
  No Sunday Text Free Palestine

  No Sunday Text Free Palestine

• 
  The Entire History of Art School

  From Medieval times until, like, now.

• 
  Portrait of a Different Kind of Art School

  vaping in the studio with a guy that runs an art school.

• 
  Chaotic Nightclub Photos

  a text about the history of art about nightclubs + my new favourite twitter account

• 
  Doodle House

  I stayed at Doodle House for a night (for legal reasons, I didn't really)

• 
  WELCOME POMODORO!

  This text is a story about a horse called Pomodoro who goes on a residency and has a little existential crisis about the nature of art as a kind of work.

• 
  The Bingo Review

  I went to the bingo for my 29th birthday and wrote this

• 
  swimming pools

  swimming pools and paintings -- a semi-review of Alina Grassman's show at Niru Ratnam

• 
  Come Dine With Me

  a short story

• 
  be right back

  sick note, personal day, overtime, all of it

• 
  Portrait of a Curator in London

  Curator as interlocutor! These institutions aren’t destinations, they’re tools!

• 
  The Northern Boys

  Raising a glass to the gays and the bi's and the trans and the girls and the big bald men

• 
  18th Berwick Film & Media Arts Festival

  video diary!!! fitting

• 
  The Problem with Diaspora Art 2

  If there's one thing i love to do, it's rewrite old texts. Bigger! Better! More accurate! Second time lucky! This is a second stab at TWPDA.

• 
  Mauro C. Martinez @ Unit London

  a review of Mauro C. Martinez's show for which I should have just written 'pick a side'

• 
  Sound of the Underground @ the Royal Court Theatre

  written by Travis Alabanza! co-created by Debbie Hannan! Starring icons from the UK's queer club scene! i loved it!

• 
  God of War Ragnarök

  i feel bad for the writers

• 
  Jake Grewal @ Thomas Dane

  the sun! and the landscape! and the sky! and i don't really know what the sublime is!!

• 
  Tai Shani @ Gathering

  The first exhibition at the new London space, ZM writes about saints and hallucinations in Tai Shani's new exhibition

• 
  Sable

  why I didn't want it to end

• 
  The African Desperate

  Directed by Martine Syms

• 
  Emergency, Daisy Hildyard

  This is a novel about noticing things.

• 
  Museum Shitpost Statement

  i'm just letting off some steam

• 
  My Favourite Painting

  This week's text is about my favourite painting: Simone Martini’s Blessed Agostino Novello Triptych

• 
  My Favourite Painter

  This week's text is about my favourite painter: Bhupen Khakhar

• 
  Stray

  stop giving us dystopias, please, i am begging

• 
  Body Vessel Clay @ York Art Gallery

  This week's text is a guided meditation, a walk through Body Vessel Clay: Black Women, Ceramics and Contemporary Art @ York Art Gallery

• 
  The Long Dark

  a game about needing things, a text about learning to want more

• 
  Sun & Sea @ the Albany

  This week's text is a review of Sun & Sea, an opera about climate change, @ the Albany. It's also a text about heatwaves and the Second Body.

• 
  Level One Identity Art

  An essay but also a review of the 2022 play Our Town Needs A Nandos by Samantha O'Rourke and Ameera Conrad

• 
  Munch @ the Courtauld

  This week's text is about Munch's paintings, a lil walk through of when i went to see the masterpieces from Bergen show at the Courtauld and had a really nice time

• 
  Tell Me I'm Worthless

  the debut novel by Alison Rumfitt about fascism + identity politics

• 
  Cloud Point @ Paradise Row

  This week's text is a review of Cloud Point, a group show curated by Nicolas Bourriaud, at Paradise Row

• 
  Everything Everywhere All At Once

  I'm so done with everything everywhere

• 
  R.I.P. Germain, Shimmer @ Two Queens

  This week's text is a review of Shimmer, R.I.P. Germain's solo show at Two Queens in Leicester.

• 
  @BoschBot

  “The Garden of Earthly Delights is the best painting on earth as it is in heaven”

• 
  Portrait of a Director of an Artist-led Space in Leicester

  I don’t want to give the game away, I don’t want to let you in on the big secret. But this is fiction… slightly, sort of. This isn’t real - oh, but it is. I don’t know what to tell you, you’re just going to have to believe me.

• 
  @afffirmations

  “is this the real life, is this just irony”

• 
  Shenece Oretha: Ah So It Go, Ah No So It Go, Go So! @ Cubitt

  This week's text is a review of Shenece Oretha: Ah So It Go, A No So It Go, Go So! At Cubitt, the last show of Languid Hands’ curatorial fellowship programme

• 
  Portrait of a Moving Image Artist in London

  I don’t want to give the game away, I don’t want to let you in on the big secret. But this is fiction… slightly, sort of. This isn’t real - oh, but it is. I don’t know what to tell you, you’re just going to have to believe me.

• 
  Old

  writing about horror and disability in the works of M Night. Shyamalan, the bastard

• 
  I'm hungry

  TW: discussion of disordered eating. This text is about hunger.

• 
  Learning to Cheat

  a text about cheating but also one about learning to ask for help

• 
  I ❤️ London

  This week's text is a chunky art thought about the problems with London. Why is it so hard to be in the arts in London? What is it about the city that makes life such a crazy mess? And what does HOUSING CRISIS EVEN MEAN??? i investigated and here are the answers I found.

• 
  Beat Saber

  a little story about wanting something and not being able to have it until the time is right

• 
  Inventing Anna

  This week's text is a review of Inventing Anna, the newest Shondaland series about the Anna Delvey girlboss scam, on Netflix.

• 
  Uncharted 4

  actually too cool for me to care about it

• 
  Danielle Brathwaite-Shirley @ Arebyte

  This week's text is less a review, more a document or journal entry of my experience playing through SHE KEEPS ME DAMN ALIVE, a game by Danielle Brathwaite-Shirley @ Arebyte

• 
  Pokemon Legends: Arceus

  so close to being what I want it to be but it's just not there yet

• 
  Jasleen Kaur, Gut Feelings Meri Jaan

  This week's text is a review of Gut Feelings Meri Jaan, a show at Touchstones by Jasleen Kaur and a group of collaborators from Rochdale

• 
  Unpacking

  it was a fine game and sometimes fine is all I actually want a game to be

• 
  On Yearning: Period Dramas & Hot Vibes

  This week's text is a very embarassing essay about why i love period dramas. tl;dr, it's all about that ~vibe~.

• 
  Apex Legends

  considering the narrative value of an elaborate first person shooter

• 
  Lubaina Himid @ Tate

  first ZM review of the year!!! this week's review is Lubaina Himid at Tate Modern. it's also a text about good art, magic, dreams & stories.

• 
  I am addicted to a game

  and I'm wondering if addiction is ever okay

• 
  NEoN Evaluation 2021

  see u in 2018, hope the art world is better by then but I DOUBT IT

• 
  Becoming A Disabled Game Critic

  thanks Long Covid I guess???? fucking lol

• 
  Institutions & Identity

  This text is an art thought essay about the museum as part of the Neoliberal political project, a re-write of our 2018 text 'the Problem with Representation'!

• 
  Love Letter to the Art World

  a love letter but I'm PISSED

• 
  Sutapa Biswas @ Kettle's Yard

  This week's text is a review of Sutapa Biswas's show: Lumen at Kettle's Yard in Cambridge. It's also a lil bit different to my normal texts, bc it's written as an audio tour. So you can listen to me guide you round in person, or listen on an imagined art date, IRL or art guided meditation.

• 
  The Forgotten City

  the best kind of horror is horror you're not expecting

• 
  3 for 1 at Camden Art Centre: Adam Farah, Phoebe Collings-James & Zeinab Saleh

  This week's text on the White Pube is a review of 3 for 1 at Camden Art Centre: Adam Farah, Phoebe Collings-James & Zeinab Saleh. tl;dr (& SPOILER): I think the decision to put on 3 separate solo shows, in the space that'd normally contain 1 solo show, at the same time is racialised.

• 
  BLACKTRANSSEA

  the new game by Danielle Brathwaite-Shirley as a part of her first solo exhibition at QUAD in Derby

• 
  Turner Prize 2021, Bumper Pack

  This week's text is a review of the 2021 Turner Prize! This year, there's been so much noise about the nominees being collectives, and I went up to the Herbert on a press trip to go have a look round with the rest of the press pack - felt like i literally HAD to review it lmao. SO, a long chunky extended cut: reviews of the work being presented, as well as a run down of the wider TP vibe. Also, a soft proposition for the Turner Prize to be more like the X Factor, that i'm only HALF joking about.

• 
  Kena: Bridge of Spirits

  a strong challenge without a strong story to back it up, which is fine for some!

• 
  Manifesto, Ane Hjort Guttu

  I remember when I told my parents I wanted to go to art school.

• 
  No Longer Home

  a game about two people finishing an art degree and wondering what will come next

• 
  this exhibition doesn't exist

  This week's text is a review of an exhibition that doesn't exist. in writing about something that doesn’t exist, maybe i can burrow through and write about something that should.'

• 
  Red Dead Redemption 2

  thinking about escaping into fiction and creating fiction to escape

• 
  Ain Bailey: Version @ Wysing Arts Centre

  This week's text on The White Pube is a review of Ain Bailey's show, Version, at Wysing Arts Centre over in Cambridge. In this review, I think about about generosity, overlap, and liquid, as well as ~vibey~ descriptions of sound works.

• 
  Love Island Season 7

  why i'm never watching it again

• 
  Marble Arch Mound

  a review of the Marble Arch Mound (before it got shut down thanks in part to this review (I like to think))

• 
  The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

  a text about chronic illness, reality tv, and finding relief in other people's problems

• 
  a rant! a reel!, Camara Taylor @ Cubitt

  This week's text is a review! of Camara Taylor's a rant! a reel! at Cubitt. It's the third show in Languid Hands' ongoing curatorial fellowship program, called No Real Closure.

• 
  54 The Gate

  This week's text is a review of 54 The Gate, an online show that is also a game, on Arcadia Missa's Open Office. it is also a text about how i just want art to be FUN.

• 
  We Dwell in Possibility

  the new game from Robert Yang and Eleanor Davis: a sweet sex camping ground

• 
  Ghost of Tsushima

  too pretty!!! stop being so pretty!!! it's a problem!!!

• 
  Death Stranding: The Final Walk

  writing about the power of the game's ending and how emotion is achieved between story, song, and gameplay

• 
  Cooking Sections @ Tate Britain

  This week's text is a review of ~Salmon: A Red Herring~, the Art Now show by Cooking Sections, at Tate Britain. Talking about my split feelings; between being a hardline cynic and wanting to be a Good Vibes Person, n how i liked this show against my will.

• 
  Boycott Zabludowicz

  Since 2014, there has been a call to boycott the Zabludowicz Collection, a gallery in London that is owned and funded by Zabludowicz Art Trust

• 
  Breasts and Eggs, Mieko Kawakami

  a book reviewwwww

• 
  The Last of Us Part II

  writing about doing things you don't want to do in video games

• 
  Walter Price, Pearl Lines @ Camden Art Centre

  This week's text is a review! of Walter Price's show, Pearl Lines at Camden Art Centre. This is the first show I've seen in person since last Autumn, and honestly i spent the last half of this text trying to figure out why galleries feel weird now.

• 
  My Brother, My Brother and Me

  I write about episode 328, The Anxiety-Free Cruise; I write about sleep, imagination, tabletop games and joy.

• 
  Tales from the Silk Road: Baesianz & Nowneess Asia

  This week's text is a review! i'll be chatting about Tales from the Silk Road, a cluster of films curated by Baesianz, and hosted on Nowness Asia. While i talk about the films briefly, this is more a text to ease back in to talking about institutions, and how they affect the way we articulate a new and tentative collective identity.

• 
  the park

  zarina reviews her local park

• 
  Fall Guys

  I write about playing a survival of the fittest game as a sick person

• 
  The Dancing Face, Mike Philips

  riots are the language of the oppressed, but what if we understood them as destructive impulses

• 
  Mundaun

  just the best game I have played in ages and ages amen

• 
  Can White People Ever Be Radical?

  this week’s text is a cute lil art thought! the title is not clickbait, it is genuinely the question I am asking: tthinking aroound Beeple & NFTs, but also just like... everything.

• 
  Clawee

  i played on a remote claw machine and hated it

• 
  Maquette

  Maquette is too hard but it's my fault, I'm stupid now

• 
  Nadim Choufi @ Jameel Arts Centre

  This week's text is a review! The Sky Oscillates Between Eternity and Its Immediate Consequences, a film by Nadim Choufi for Jameel Arts Centre's Art Jameel Digital Commissions. very long complex intro, but only a diddy tight text; enjoy!

• 
  Art Sqool

  you all made me play this game and I resent you for it (I'm messing but still, it was not very good)

• 
  what do critics do?

  this week’s text is an art thought! about what critics actually do, n what criticism even is. it’s my yearly existential crisis! enjoy :)

• 
  Calico

  deadlift horses and run your own cat cafe - thank you

• 
  Sahej Rahal, finalforest.exe

  this week’s text is a review of Sahej Rahal’s moving image work: finalforest.exe that’s up on Transmediale’s Almanac, their online programme accompanying their IRL activity.

• 
  COVID & Coffee Talk

  This review is 70% on what it has been like to catch COVID and 30% on the game Coffee Talk by Indonesian studio Toge Productions

• 
  Run! BTS

  a review of BTS's web series 'Run! BTS'

• 
  Chila Burman, Winter Commission @ Tate Britain

  this week's text is a review of Chila Burman's Winter Commission at Tate Britain

• 
  Death Stranding

  grateful, hopeful, and still playing the game 95 hours into its mad, mad world

• 
  rotli

  Rotli as a kind of social body, bread is a body, rotli is bread, rotli is a sociable extension of your body.

• 
  c ya laterrrr

  a text-only game of decoys, sadness, healing. still thinking about it all now

• 
  Crude, Sally O'Reilly

  this week’s review is a BOOK REVIEW! of Crude by Sally O’Reilly

• 
  If Found

  stars and heartbreak on a windy irish island

• 
  Payal Kapadia @ Berwick Film & Media Arts Festival 2020

  This week’s text is a review of R.I.P. Germain's DEAD YARD, curated by Languid Hands, as part of their curatorial fellowship at Cubitt, n part of their longer fellowship programme, called No Real Closure.

• 
  Among Us

  the most social I've felt in lockdown thanks to a bit of murder in space

• 
  Dead Yard, RIP Germain @ Cubitt

  This week’s text is a review of R.I.P. Germain's DEAD YARD, curated by Languid Hands, as part of their curatorial fellowship at Cubitt, n part of their longer fellowship programme, called No Real Closure.

• 
  The Problem with Bad Art & how the game industry could help us

  i wish we could all speak about standards in an open supportive way!!!!

• 
  I HATE DISHOOM

  a text about what ~contempory indian street food~ restaurants tell us about whiteness

• 
  Florence

  a game about finding yourself that made me think about all the times before i got here, and how I never ever want to go back

• 
  Internet of Things: Another World is Possible

  This week's text on TWP is a review of Internet Of Things: Another World Is Possible, a website/online exhibition hosted by Darat al Funun, as part of their pandemic-era online program :)

• 
  Before I Forget

  a story about dementia that felt so close to home I walked to see my Nan the next day

• 
  Gilmore Girls

  this week’s review is of some TELLY (v rare!); i’ve reviewed Gilmore Girls n i have some Thoughts (TM) about it all, and how it's VERY DIFFERENT from Caroline Calloway, and so THEREFORE I'm allowed to enjoy it :)

• 
  God of War

  writing about why i think games are more fun than art, the magic landscape of god of war and its gameplay + why it's my favourite game now

• 
  Abi Palmer, <What Now?>, Wysing Broadcasts

  This week's text is a review of Abi Palmer's What Now?, a film up on Wysing Broadcasts. I talk about how art feels like a weird, niche hobby; film as verb, body as focus, and blood rushing back to the surface.

• 
  the Community, the State & a specific kind of Headache

  this week’s text! an art thought about community arts & the grassroots - i spoke to 5 practitioners who have been involved in/in proximity to community arts activity in different capacities and from different positions: Zain Dada, Miguel Amado, Louise Shelley, Nurull Islam & Abbas Zahedi

• 
  The Last Guardian

  this game is cursed

• 
  courgette flower, crescent moon rising

  this week's text is the third instalment of our food column! about food and land and bodies and autonomy. cottagecore & courgette flowers etc. :)

• 
  Life is Strange

  i thought it was a bit crap but also I did not mind crapness in my life or my mood at all

• 
  Shadow of the Colossus

  north star game. it felt like watching a play.

• 
  why i hate the white cube 2

  this week's text is an art thought called 'why i hate the white cube 2' - i basically rewrote the very first art thought we ever published bc it's been 5 years and i cannot take the cringe any more!!!

• 
  FUCK THE POLICE, FUCK THE STATE, FUCK THE TATE: RIOTS & REFORM

  This week's text is long, chunky, and i'm aware that it's got some holes & failings i'm unable to cover in the week i've been writing it. pls check the further study list for other texts by other thinkers, practitioners & writers who do incredible work, and who can provide more answers where this te

• 
  Mutazione

  our garden is nearly grown

• 
  Black Lives Matter Commitment

  Can we help u in the revolution and if so: how

• 
  Call of Duty & Journey

  a two in one, writing about different games for different kinds of anxiety

• 
  Alberta Whittle & Rene Matic

  This week's text is 2 films being shown online: Alberta Whittle's 'business as usual: hostile environment' @ Glasgow International & Rene Matić's 'we give a lead to britain' @ Arcadia Missa

• 
  In Other Waters

  thank you for bearing with me while i lose my mind in quarantine, it is getting more and more interesting somehow

• 
  Caroline Calloway

  This week's text tries to review Caroline Calloway's essay series: 'I am Caroline Calloway', and ends up talking about parasocial constructed publics, the way a healthy discussion about privilege can be successfully evaded, and the morbid fascination but crushing banality of it all. I'm now unfollow

• 
  Quarantine Part 2 / Animal Crossing

  thank you animal crossing creators

• 
  Abbas Zahedi @ South London Gallery

  this week's text is a review of Abbas Zahedi's how to make a how from a why? at South London Gallery.

• 
  ideas for a new art world

  This week's text is a weird lumpy one; talking about Lola Olufemi's 'Feminism, Interrupted' and the way it challenged me to think about potential new art world(s)

• 
  Quarantine Part 1

  i can't re-read this one, too much, too much

• 
  authority & resources: mango&lime on the top deck of the bus

  this week's text is an art thought, on the weird way galleries interact with local and marginalised communities, authenticity, resources, and why they don't just swap funding.

• 
  Firewatch

  i did not know games could hurt?

• 
  Kentucky Route Zero

  wow, where do i even begin

• 
  Tender Feelings @ Soft Spot

  only looking for art in secret caves now

• 
  UNITE etc

  this week's text is an art thought about the current UCU strikes and what's happening to arts education. i think you should read it.

• 
  Wide Ocean Big Jacket @ Nintendo Switch

  surpisingly emotional lol

• 
  Emii Alrai @ the Tetley

  This week's review is Emii Alrai's The High Dam @ the Tetley in Leeds: 'I liked this show bc reasons'.

• 
  Cameron Rowland, 3 & 4 Will. IV c. 73 @ the ICA

  This week's text is a review of Cameron Rowland's 3 & 4 Will. IV c. 73 at the ICA, London. This text is the first in a series of 6 texts across the year commissioned by the ICA as part of our role as critics in residence.

• 
  Sex Education @ Netflix

  like some magical land between Wales, the US and Norway; 2020 and also 1960 maybe, timelines overlapping n weird. Scandi houses, offies, varsity jackets and valleys / a weirdly wes anderson abortion clinic, a loopy fanfic writer with permanent spacebuns. the weather is just always nice.

• 
  you feel me_ @ FACT, Liverpool

  This week's review is of you feel me_ at FACT in Liverpool. I talk about the work, the curation, the building, but also... about Laura Robertson's weird review in Art Monthly....

• 
  Pokemon Sword and Shield

  a review over 15 years in the making

• 
  EAT THE RICH

  content warning: anorexia and disordered eating

• 
  On Venus, Patrick Staff @ Serpentine Sackler

  This week's review (hny!) is Patrick Staff's 'On Venus' at the Serpentine Sackler.

• 
  Marianne Keating @ Rampa, Porto

  final review of 2019 x x x

• 
  3 for 1: Findlater, Zaman & Perretta

  a 3 for 1 deal!

• 
  Why museums are bad vibes

  it's not me it's you

• 
  What I’ve learnt from being a brown critic on the Internet (and what i need now from our readers)

  this is what I know, have realised & learnt about identity politics in the arts, and how power functions around that.

• 
  Alvaro Barrington @ Sadie Coles

  GARVEY: SEX LOVE NURTURING FAMALAY @ Sadie Coles.

• 
  Untitled Goose Game @ Nintendo Switch

  surpisingly emotional lol

• 
  Super Mario Odyssey @ Nintendo Switch

  2nd game review this year INJECT IT

• 
  Gilbert & George @ Astrup Fearnley Museet, Oslo

  i'll give u a headline: edgelord pensioners of the art world can get to fuck

• 
  critics in residence: ica 2020

  The White Pube 2 b critics in residence at Institute of Contemporary Art

• 
  Mark Leckey @ Tate Britain

  CLASS, MAGIC n MUSIC. im sorry i jus loved it

• 
  Chris Hinojosa: Kameha-MIJA!

  This week's review is a bit different; not a show or an essay, a text about a video work by Chris Hinojosa. Taal, rhythm and billowing out past your body: this video made me nearly cry.

• 
  Jan Hakon Erichsen @ Instagram

  i shouldnt hav written this

• 
  Imran Perretta: the destructors @ Spike Island

  the destructors @ Spike Island in Bristol

• 
  Helen Cammock @ Whitechapel

  This week's review is a sticky lament. Helen Cammock's show: Che si può fare at Whitechapel Gallery.

• 
  bbz blk bk: Alt Grad Show 2019

  This week's review i am waxing lyrical about how good the BBZ grad show 2019 was. GO. THERE'S STILL TIME!!

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  REAL WORK @ Fact Liverpool

  havent done a fact review in a while god help me

• 
  The Problem with Tiny Galleries

  BURN ALL LANDLORDS NOW

• 
  ~The Problem with Representation~

  This week's text is a fucking long one - strap urself in lads, we're AWFF. Talking about the problem with representation & how it is fundamentally a liberal position. Change my mind.

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  How to make art with people in places - with AIR

  How to make art with people in places - - - we chat to Anna Hart from AIR because we are obsessed

• 
  Ima-Abasi Okon

  this week's review is of Ima-Abasi Okon's commisson @ Chisenhale. I also have some other thoughts, right, and they've been simmering for a minute. hold tight lads.

• 
  Jai Paul

  This week's text was really just an excuse for me to write about how much i love Jai Paul's music n trying to put that into words, describe the bodily chaos of sound.

• 
  Frank Bowling @ Tate

  This week's text is Frank Bowling's first major UK show @ the Tate Britain. I only like paintings in the summer. Thank gawd it's summer.

• 
  Are White Girls Capable of Making Art That's Not About Themselves?

  i know they are so why dont they??

• 
  Aladdin

  This week's text is a review of Disney's live-action remake of Aladdin; tbh i don't talk about the actual film that much & mostly j chat about how Disney is a bit fucked up & i can't believe we haven't cancelled them yet?

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  Keith Haring @ Tate Liverpool

  do better x x x

• 
  Symphony for 20 rooms @ Den Frie Udstilling

  this exhibition is fascist

• 
  The internet is prematurely ageing me and it’s all your fault

  FIXME

• 
  Zelda: Breath of the Wild @ Nintendo Switch

  i am never reviewing an exhibition again

• 
  Does Art History Matter?

  FIXME

• 
  with eyes closed, call me @ Bergen Kunsthall

  a degree show that doesn't even look like a degree show! can you imagine my relief

• 
  Game of Thrones S08E03

  art is worse than telly

• 
  On trauma, paranoia, and fascism (and on Nina Power)

  text by Linda Stupart on trauma, paranoia, and fascism (and on Nina Power)

• 
  Sinae Yoo: Petrichor @ Futura, Prague

  This week's review talks around Sinae Yoo's film: Petrichor, commissioned by Futura, Prague. That & Billie Eilish, e-girl aesthetic & metal liquidity n car-boys/fast & furious citroen ads.

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  I am a cowboy in the art world & idk what to write ab

  This week's text is an art thought that takes a moment for self-reflection. I am a cowboy in the art world, and I don't know what to write about. Yee fucken Haw.

• 
  Thomas Hirschhorn @ Kochi Biennial

  I CANT BELIEVE I REVIEWED A WORKSHOP, i cant believe it's probably the best thing i'll see this year

• 
  Tejal Shah @ Kochi

  This week's review is Tejal Shah's work @ Kochi Biennale 2019; enjoy frandz :)

• 
  Kochi Biennale

  the vlog is heeeere so if u want a better feel of kochi muziris biennale exhibitions in 37 degrees c heat plus jetlag, this will do u nicely.

• 
  Temsüyanger Longkumer @ Kochi Biennale

  imagine sitting in your studio and deciding you kno wat, i'm going to make art that if u run through it, you can see a RAINBOW

• 
  Ghislaine Leung @ Chisenhale

  review review review

• 
  Hardeep Pandhal - Paranoid Picnic: Phatnom BAME

  This week's review on the White Pube is of Hardeep Pandhal's show: Paranoid Picnic: Phantom BAME at New Art Exchange and Primary in Nottingham. I loved it a lot he he eh.

• 
  What should an art festival look like?

  we need a return 2 basics

• 
  Do galleries ever ask us what we want to see ?

  not really

• 
  Haroon Mirza @ IKON

  This week's review is Haroon Mirza's show, reality is somehow what we expect it to be @ IKON in Birmingham, talkin about bubbling bins, inscrutable logic, and happy percussion UwU

• 
  Simeon Barclay @ The Tetley

  first review in leeds!!! finally

• 
  How I got a gallery

  i jus love OUTPUT gallery

• 
  Grace Wales Bonner @ Serpentine Sackler

  this week's review is of Grace Wales Bonner's debut show at the Serpentine Sackler - metallic hum in the smell of rosewater and the time someone told me i look like baby krishna

• 
  John Walter @ HOME

  urghhhhhhhhhhhh pls prove me wrong tbh otherwise it just means the art is boring again

• 
  Women on Aeroplanes @ the Showroom

  This week's review is Women on Aeroplanes @ the Showroom; a group show co-curated with Ottolith Collective. Feat. work by Lungiswa Gqunta, Pamela Phatsimo Sunstrum & Emma Wolukau-Manambwa

• 
  Winter Exhibitions @ Tate Liverpool

  it is art versus Things That Actually Entertain Me in 2019 and im keepin score here on the white pube dot com

• 
  Joy Labinjo @ Tiwani Contemporary

  This week's review is of Joy Labinjo's show, Recollections, at Tiwani Contemporary. I went to go see this show on Black friday lmaooo

• 
  I LITERALLY HATE THE ART WORLD

  PLEASE SORT IT OUTTTTTT OTHERWISE IM JUMPING SHIP

• 
  The Problem with Diaspora Art

  This week's text is an Art Thought, thinking through the definition of, and issues surrounding Diaspora Art. This is also the longest text i've written since my dissertation lmao

• 
  A Line Made By Walking by Sara Baume

  i reviewed a book again!! it's been time

• 
  Liverpool Biennial 2018

  the longest thing ive ever written on this website and also possibly the most valuable.

• 
  Lawrence Abu Hamdan @ Chisenhale

  This week's review is of Lawrence Abu Hamdan's show Earwitness Testimony @ Chisenhale Gallery. Talking through why i found it kinda disappointing :(

• 
  Crush @ Para Site Gallery, Hong Kong

  in this weeks review i look at the 'Crush' group exhibition in Para Site Gallery, Hong Kong ~ ~ talkin heartbreak and travelling alone, n sculptural curation too

• 
  The Share of Opulence @ Sophie Tappeiner & Paul Mahek

  In this week's review, ZM talks about 2 shows she saw in Vienna; the Share of Opulence; Doubled; Fractional @ Sophie Tappeiner and Paul Maheke's Letter to a Barn Own @ KevinSpace

• 
  Akram Zaatari @ New Art Exchange

  :) a sweet review 4 sweet art

• 
  In Formation III - Neither Voice Noir Class

  This week's brings our commission for the ICA's In Formation III to a close; talking about Neither Voice Noir Class, with the ICA's Carey Robinson and Tristam Adams.

• 
  In formation III and Mitchell Akiyama

  it is weird to write a review of a talk but also I enjoyed it.

• 
  In formation III 3 reviews in 1

  issa meal deal

• 
  In Formation III

  This week's review kicks off a month of reviews commissioned by the ICA, reviewing In Formation III. This text is about Khairani Barokka's performance installation - Annah: Nomenclature.

• 
  Arcadia Missa, Screening Room 2018

  zoom in on Imran Perretta & Hannah Black's work in Screening Room 2018 at Arcadia Missa.

• 
  Samara Scott @ Tramway

  ahhhhh what can u do eh.

• 
  why I don't read the press release

  stop sending us google drive links with install shots asking us to review an exhibition. how do u imagine that is going to go down wihout me ever having visited. are u okay???

• 
  Ritual Without Belief: Evan Ifekoya @ Gasworks

  this week's review is about Ritual Without Belief, Evan Ifekoya's first solo show in London, at Gasworks. we r emotional n here for a fellow 1st deccan cancer thriving like this.

• 
  Working Practices: Clarke House and the Showroom

  This week's review is of the Showroom's Workng Practices. A group show in collaboration with Clarke House Initiative, from Bombay.

• 
  Beth Collar @ Primary

  LADS ON PLINTHS

• 
  Alia Pathan - Fire Rooster @ Primary

  *****fire rooster*****

• 
  Navigating Proximities

  this week's review is Navigating Proximities: a show by Ana Kazaroff & Alicia Reyes-McNamara, hosted by A/Side-B/Side Gallery & curated by b.Dewitt Gallery & Agency.

• 
  Flurina Sokoll @ Slade MA Degree Show

  I'm sad!!!!!!

• 
  Landed @ Cubitt Gallery

  when 2 become 1

• 
  States of Play: Rolplay Reality

  jordon wolfson eat my shorts

• 
  Anthea Hamilton: The Squash @ Tate Britain

  this week's review is about Anthea Hamilton's 2018 Tate Britain Commission: the Squash. but also about what I'm thinking and feeling rn after this great storm.

• 
  Ruaidhri Ryan @ CBS Gallery & Studios

  sorry I just wrote 2,471 words about youtube

• 
  Zoë Paul @ Spike Island

  I AM BORED OF BEIN THE ART POLICE, WILL YOU ALL STOP MAKING EXHIBITIONS LIKE THIS

• 
  Tai Shani - Dark Continent @ Tramway, Glasgow

  This week's review is of Tai Shani's Dark Continent: Semiramis,10: Phantasmagoregasm @ Tramway as part of Glasgow International 2018.

• 
  Forensic Architecture @ the ICA

  This week's review is about Forensic Architecture's show ~Counter Investigations~ at the ICA; we will be continuing the convo on the Social Creative Network

• 
  Alexandra Pirici @ the New Museum

  soft noodle art

• 
  more of an avalanche @ Wysing Arts Centre

  we had a lil morning drive to Wysing Arts Centre to see the sights

• 
  Sondra Perry @ Serpetine

  This week's review, ZM is talking about Sondra Perry's show -Typhoon coming on- at the Serpentine Sackler;;;; airwaves gum, a solid decongestant

• 
  Ma Qiusha @ Middlesbrough Institute of Modern Art

  have u ever thought about the difference between museum-exhibitions and gallery ones

• 
  Sonia Boyce @ Manchester Art Gallery

  ffs

• 
  Joan Jonas @ Tate Modern

  This week's review, ZM talks about Joan Jonas' Retrospective (TM) at the Tate,,,,, jumbled feelings n snippets. a badly written review of a good show :)

• 
  Concrete Pitch - Eddie Peake

  this week's review is of Eddie Peake's Concrete Pitch @ White Cube Bermondsey. I liked it but wish that i didn't l m a o. Hetty Duggerz.

• 
  Th-th-th-that's all folks! @ Castlefield Gallery

  cant stop comin to manchester to see the art

• 
  How To Get An Exhibition

  an art world walkthrough that made me sick to write

• 
  Marguerite Humeau: Echoes @ Tate Britain

  This week's review is weird, i was feeling full & hollow and emosh so i'd rather just talk thru it and around the art actually. I am feelin better now, i hope.

• 
  Making, A Life @ Castlefield Gallry

  wot a sweet exhibition!

• 
  Padmavati / Padmaavat

  A review of Padmavati / Padmaavat dir. Sanjay Leela Bhansali. i think this was quite sad, i preferred Devdas.

• 
  Wu Tsang @ FACT

  please fact only do exhibitions like this i'm not in the mood for your bad group shows in the dark

• 
  AIRPLANE MODE: WE'RE GOING ON HOLIDAY

  see u in 2018, hope the art world is better by then but I DOUBT IT

• 
  LOCAL ADVISORY BOARDS; A SENSIBLE IDEA

  art world pls do better

• 
  Hannah Black, Some Context @ Chisenhale

  some context;; some context

• 
  Autumn/Winter @ Middlesbrough Institute of Modern Art

  2nd installment as critics-in-residence at middlesbrough instutite of modern art;; we visit the new exhibition programme on art and housing

• 
  Bayadère - the Ninth Life

  Hello dearest readers! This week's review is a ballet by Shobana Jeyasingh Dance @ Sadler's Wells Theatre; called Bayadère - the Ninth Life. Nice!

• 
  File Under Female

  - showing the handwritten essay we produced for Bella Milroy's project File Under Female, part of a residency at the Women's Art Library in Goldsmiths

• 
  Vitrinerie by Madeleine Stack

  i personally love it when we do a book review

• 
  Arthur Jafa (@ 180 the Strand & Serpentine Sackler)

  This week ZM talks about Arthur Jafa's show that closed a month ago @ Serp Sackler & the film at the top of 180 the Strand;;; n also some thoughts.

• 
  Hardeep Pandhal at The Gymnasium

  zarina reviews Hardeep Pandhal's show at The Gymnasium as a part of the Berwick Film Festival - - - - critics-in-residence - - - -

• 
  13th Berwick Film and Media Arts Festival

  we were critics-inresidence for the Berwick Film and Media Arts Festival!! cute bbz

• 
  Sahej Rahal's Barricadia @ CCA

  This week ZM reviews Sahej Rahal's show, Barricadia @ CCA in Glasgow. Talking about happy clay gods, low-lighting and releasing a need to decipher meaning. ahhh

• 
  Sheela Gowda @ IKON

  This week's review is Sheela Gowda @ IKON gallery in Birmingham. I liked it a lot. I wish i was a ghost.

• 
  Zadie Xa @ Pumphouse

  This week's review is Zadie Xa's show 'A Conch, Sea Urchin & Brass Bell' @ Pumphouse Gallery. Do u remember that song by Naked & Famous;;; 'Punching in dream'?

• 
  Lana Del Rey @ Liverpool Echo Arena

  music is nice to write about

• 
  Summer at Middlesbrough Institute of Modern Art

  a kind of arching review of The Place Is Here, Wilderness Way and Kader Attia's work ~ in which i am sick 2 death of instagram.

• 
  Love Island Series 3

  This week's review ZM & GDLP r chattin about the weight & worth of Love Island;;; a case in defence of reality tv

• 
  Abacus @ the Bluecoat

  i have SPOILT these children with their first exhibition as Abacus. I am afraid 2 tell them not all exhibitions will b so good

• 
  Mark Leckey @ Cubitt

  i hav been craving a good solo show thank you ML

• 
  Mene Mene Tekel Parsin @ Wysing Arts Center

  This week's review is Mene Mene Tekel Parsin @ Wysing ; a group show curated by Jesse Darling. I took my mum. She didn't get it.

• 
  Benedict Drew @ Whitechapel

  This week's review is Benedict Drew's show 'The Trickle-Down Syndrome' at Whitechapel; this week i took my sister and i write about my thoughts through hers :)

• 
  Siobhan Davies Dance at the Bluecoat

  i want an exhibition 2 match my soul

• 
  Fahrelnissa Zeid @ TATE MODERN

  Talking bout the new Fahrelnissa Zeid retrospective on @ the Tate Modern; how nice it is to walk around a gallery someone's hand in urs even when it's not there

• 
  Keeping up with the Kardashians

  we have been busy so im sorry but this week's review is literally all kardashian episodes

• 
  Wonder Woman

  white pube get #deep

• 
  Richard Yates by Tao Lin

  i could not have written the review in another way

• 
  Chris Ofili @ TNG

  this week ZM talks about the Chris Ofili show at the National Gallery and also, Adrian Searle's ridiculous review of it. Simply fucking preposterous i cannot.

• 
  Miss Meena and the Masala Queens

  This week's review, Zarina talks about why she loved Miss Meena and the Masala Queens. Talkin bout Pakeezah, radical representation and mujras xoxo

• 
  Stephen Willats @ MIMA

  on tour in middlesbrough yayayaya

• 
  Daniela Ortiz @ MIMA

  DANIELA ORTIZ: ABC OF RACIST EUROPE @ MIMA

• 
  Glitch @ the Isherwood Gallery

  reviewing 'Glitch: The Aesthetics of Failure' at The Isherwood Gallery, The Old Courts, Wigan

• 
  Erik Van Lieshout @ South London Gallery

  Erik Van Lieshout: Three Social Works

• 
  Feral Kin @ Auto Italia

  This week's review we r talking about Feral Kin, a collaborative group show at Auto Italia;;;; fair warning: there is a rly gross metaphor about spots

• 
  Beauty and the Beast

  crying into my burrito

• 
  Stephen Forge @ Cactus

  im sweatin

• 
  Treats by Lara Williams

  first book review wewew

• 
  Wolfgang Tillmans @ Tate Modern

  Hell, this week's text is about Wolfgang Tillman's show @Tate Modern. As usual we r thinking aboness ahhhhh :)

• 
  How much of this is fiction. @ FACT, Liverpool

  i dont even care about art sometimes

• 
  Anna Zacharoff & Nata Goncharova @ Vilma Gold

  This week's text talks about the show at Vilma Gold - Anna Zacharoff's big paintings & sculptures. ~Tender~ & special. Holding hands & jumping over puddles.

• 
  FK Alexander @ Wellcome Collection

  This week's text is about a strange performance we stumbled upon by accident. How serendipitous!

• 
  Benedict Drew

  bad art / my bad

• 
  Peter Liversidge

  fkin hell peter

• 
  Manni Sandhu: Welcome to the Future

  FIXME

• 
  Dawn Breaks @ The Showroom

  talkin bout theatre n liminality,,, objects, n actor,,,, ah, sticky sticky, rolling boil. i enjoyed this performance immensely.

• 
  Imran Perretta: Brother to Brother @ Jerwood

  This week's text is Imran Perretta's film Brother to brother @ Jerwood; we r talkin about voice/body & feeling n if nyone knows what mouthfeel means; pls hmu.

• 
  Money Feelings

  Art support is somewhere between faith and investment; and payment for art labour is stuck feeling gratuitous rather than a normality. and this is shit

• 
  Moana

  im not crying u are

• 
  Adham Faramawy @ the Bluecoat

  review of the Adham Faramawy show at the Bluecoat in liverpool. kind of super sad about this ngl

• 
  Painter's Painting

  This week's review is the first of 2017. Happy celebration! We talk about the Painter's Painters show at Saatchi, and how I only liked one single painting.