june camera roll
happy july! thank u for june! imo i had a weird and whacky month! as always! and i’d never want to have a normal, quiet one. glad for life coming at me fast. on 1st June i finished tidying up the first draft (gab finished before me, i was reading slowwww) and we sent it off to our editors – still having a little look away holiday from book bits, but LIFE came back at us very fuckin FAST! it was like we just put everything on pause while we were writing, and once we were done it came thru the floodgates. all of a sudden i was looking in my fridge and all i had in was vegan butter and half a lime (not joking). thank god for my sweet mum & my lovely lil sister checking for proof of life, thank god my boyfriend looks after me, thank god i have lovely friends who offer to drop off dinner and thank god gabrielle is my co-pilot bc at least if we have lost the plot, we are lost togeva!
then we had a lil holiday, i got my nails done, i got some new glasses, finally did a big shop and laundry, came back to the hustle n grind, popped to newcastle (see this week’s WISLW tbc tbc), did some john moores painting prize judging and it was my BIRTHDAY!!!! i am 29! i will be 30 next year! this is the last year of my 20s!!!!! life goes so fast!!!!
i am actually very happy and i hope i will be this happy forever. i want everything to be this lovely always. i don’t know where life or like, time? goes? but i am soooo happy spending it like this! i feel very loved and cherished and also like i love and cherish everyone in turn – i have been thinking lots about how in the argonauts, maggie nelson says there’s no such thing as a lack of dependence, we are all dependent on everything around us. whether that’s people communities systems of government or like literal ecological infrastructures. my first kneejerk reaction when i read that was to be like ‘NO!’ bc while i politically think individualism is a shit lie – clearly, on a personal level i think i am just built different. it’s silly, the world is full of little lovely things! i am just along for the ride! i lie my weight against these systems, these people and i am dependent on them and they are not a bad thing. they are small human softnesses, where we are all animals that want to be loved and held and brought little gifts, we all want to have interesting little conversations with people we think are clever and interesting, hold hands and have a little nap on the train safe in the knowledge that we are on our way somewhere interesting. the world is so lovely and i am so lucky to be a part of it in this way!!!!