i am a photographer

I have kept my Panasonic C-D426AF in my bag all year loaded with ilford delta 400 professional b&w, this film that a man in a shop told me was great. that man was so right. I just finally finished it after mooonths, sent it to Take It Easy Lab to be developed and got this back. the best pictures are of my friends and family but i cba asking everyone if its okay to share photos of them so i’m sharing the other stuff instead –

like at the end of spring when I went to visit bella milroy and we hung out at her allotment

and we pressed these flowers

and we spoke about some things that were changing inside us, and for us, and around us. and it was so nice to be in the same place at the same time because our friendship exists in voicenotes. and voicenotes are fine! but nothing beats this

I wanted to climb inside that shed and never leave. we watched Spirited Away because she’d never seen it before. My heart rate was so low – I felt great.

and a while after that, I went to london for a weekend to see LCD Soundsystem. I reviewed the gig here and I kinda thought it might be useless to take a film photo at a gig but when the big light hit the mirrorball i had to, and maybe this photo isn’t actually that good, but it means a lot because everything meant a lot that day

and then I got really sick from a fucking oyster and its fucking eColi bullshit and I was gone for the summer, so I just spent all my time with these two animals. piranesi and coco. they still don’t get on. Coco just wants a quiet life, and Piri brings me home baby rats all the time now. but Piri is getting better at leaving Coco alone, and Coco is forgiving me for getting a murderous kitten. they’re never this close so I dropped to the floor and took a wonky photo of them in proximity

this is from the day I bought Ethel Cain’s album in rough trade and then reviewed it. it’s my nice boyfriend michael vaping on the steps of the bombed out church. i don’t know why I’m so music-focused in my criticism this year. i also do? it’s because when I review one thing for a long time I realise I know how to write about the Thing now and get bored. gotta move onto a new form, gotta always be figuring things out. thats how the energy gets into the writing i think!

post-ethel cain review, post-oyster summer, I was thinking so much about how vulnerable illness makes me and I was so angry, and we went to a wedding, and we had to leave because I was knackered, and I thought if I take a picture of me looking Strong then maybe I’ll really like it. But then the result actually just makes me laugh haha. I will try again next time

actually i suppose this one is okay to post because it’s so far away but we went for a walk down one end of crosby beach and it was so bright and so windy and I feel like the weather is doing something in this picture that really satisfies me. i really really love black and white film. colour is so overrated

all bangers. i am back to my half-frame camera now and I have decided: I’m going to take more candids of people whether they like it or not!!!! suckers

it’s been a terrible summer for my body but I think autumn is about to be great. i like giving updates about my health when I do these film photo blog posts. it just makes sense. so as a bit of a p.s. I will say that I’ve been posting updates about my cardiology rehab programme for POTS here if you wanna know what is going on with long covid shit. i just hit 30 minutes on a rowing machine without stopping. I’m going slow but hey, I’m still going : ) I want to feel so strong !!!!!