do you want to see my old artwork
hi! I thought it would be interesting to try and get all of this stuff in one place. I was convinced for so long that I was going to be an artist… and then I discovered writing about art instead. And THEN I discovered games instead-instead, and here we are. Making art is far away from me now. But I have made a lot of artwork in my time, and sometimes I find old pictures in folders and think about what it was like when I painted. I used to burn through podcasts, have little snacks, and time would disappear while I did my work. I stopped painting half way through university - - I went from painting to video and then installation. It was a weirdly emotional decision but also very conscious. I just got to a point where painting made me get too in my head about things. It was pure rumination time. It didn’t make me happy anymore, didn’t feel worth it. I stopped being able to hear the podcasts I was listening to and I’d just hear my sad thoughts and feelings instead. So I stopped! i made other stuff. And eventually I stopped making and became a writer.
Looking back on all of this as a whole, there is a theme of internet and emotion running through a lot of it. Not everything. But I can sense the lineage to The White Pube. Yeah. This is more for myself than anyone else but that’s what a blog post is for?? So here are the things I made a long, long time ago. Longgggg long time ago before I felt everything click in my role as a writer.
STUFF I MADE WHILE I WAS IN SCHOOL before uni
I did a lot of commissions for other people, or presents for friends based on what their interests hence the weirdness of this list. A lot of the quality of this is terrible but are you surprised when i took them on like, the 2nd iphone lol
UNIVERSITY »» this is when things go from painting to video and then installation
that was all first year stuff ^
this is second year >
stills from a video that only played when you held a fake hand that was spray painted green. in the video I sprayed my own hand that colour, keyed it out, and then exfoliated it off. it was kinda gory. i was so happy with it!
and now we enter third year:
I started to make weird digital collages that were like mockups for real installations I would attempt to make
and they would end up looking like this – idk this pic is a weird WIP shot and i dont have a picture of what I actually did, which was empty a brain licker over the plastic so that it pooled in the half pipe jutting out of the bottom of the picture lol who did i think i was, i should have stuck to normal painting. why so many pigs?
I carried on liking the plastic. here’s a picture of an installation that had audio recorded by a fellow student, talking about the boy who cheated on me. my boobs were in this piece in true White Girl Art style
the video i really wanna show i can’t because there’s other people in it and they might not wanna be on the internet
so then third year started and things just get bigger and weirder. here are installation shots and screenshots from videos
i made this after i was traumatised by tough mudder, I set it up with water in the big plastic bath, and then I read a piece about disease and pain at the microphone at the open studios night we had
and then the degree show
i wish i could show you the video i made, i’m still really happy with it…
i got more interested in the subtitles, the words i’d speak in the installation, the text i’d write alongside everything, and it was fine because the white pube began in my final year of uni so i had an outlet for all that writing anyway - - - but i do think about these things sometimes, and maybe i have made a video here or there, and maybe it’s even been exhibited under a psuedonym… who knows 8-)
Zarina and I are starting to write fiction behind the scenes as we work our way towards a book proposal and then hopefully a book. I think maybe that’s why I’m reflecting on this stuff now. Writing fiction is reminding of me of time in studios and bedrooms painting painting painting. I think I have a better head for this stuff now. Maybe one day I will paint again.
update: i couldn’t remember what the final degree show work was called and thanks to my friend herb shellenberger, i’ve been reminded it was called Death Row - - and he informed me it is on letterboxd which is MAD to me. The film I made was about the (true) story my sister and I share, where we both remember seeing a cartoon bee out of our childhood bedroom window. It pulled tongues at us. I will never forget :)
proof i am on letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/film/death-row-2016/
very funny stuff