I was just reading this substack by Emma Garland on morality and body count, and there was a great section about how Love Island contestants vying for an Influencer future for themselves rely on a public and media opinion of them that is measured against Conservative beliefs. ‘To thrive in that economy, your safest bet is to have the blandest possible vibe.’ It made me think, oh god, we haven’t done a Lads I Fancy in a while. It made think, oh god, we should be hornier on main.

Here’s a lad for you.


I’ve been on a BIG musical kick this year, mostly led by the fact I am infatuated by Gene Kelly.

Can you see why?

I haven’t seen Brigadoon but I have watched this music video 100 times. I like his high-waisted pants. Stop judging me. I just want him to sing me a song. I like it when he moves. You know – and no offence to Gene Kelly – if you had shown me a picture of this man before I’d seen American in Paris or Singin' in the Rain, I don’t think I would have been STIRRED. It’s only when he does all of the things he can do, I realise, oh no, I love him. Dance, sing, act, choreography, holding a cigarette in his mouth so he can kiss someone, wearing high-waisted paints.

Please enjoy this advert for fancing Gene Kelly from 1943. At the end of it, he does jumping planks under a long row of girls like it’s NOTHING