thank you stephanie meyer

Every few years, I just slam through the Twilight films like nothing else exists on Earth. This weekend, I realised it was too hot for me to think. I actually have so much work to do, like it’s not funny, and I am worried some people I owe emails to will see this blog post and get annoyed. But for real, it’s too hot. Hot in the way I would have once stripped down into a bikini and lay in my grassless yard like a pizza in a clay oven, cooking myself until all my freckles were coaxed out of hibernation. I have a disability now where the no.1 listed aggravator of all symptoms is heat so if I owe you emails, just know I am being held hostage by the sun: I’m half naked in my living room, curtains closed, sitting in front of a loud metal fan, drinking buckets of water. If I owe you emails, I don’t. I’m watching Twilight instead.

I’m going to list some surface level thoughts now about the films, completely uncritically, no explanation, all the heat will let me say:

• The fight scenes are some of the best in cinematic history
• The music sometimes sounds like the lord of the rings soundtrack
• I don’t want to get old I want to be a vampire
• Jasper is the only blonde man I think I’ve ever fancied
• I want to be in the woods next to a huge dark lake
• Bella getting pregnant with mysterious vampire baby is one of the greatest storylines
• the VFX/makeup they do when she nearly dies is great as well
• I can’t rank the films because I think the only way to watch them is all at once, ideally over 1 or 2 days
• Jacob imprinting on renesmee is comedy gold but then emotional and sweet
• Kristen Stewart’s career trajectory from awkward high schooler to awkward Diana is perfect, how has she pulled it off, don’t know, don’t tell me, cool mystery, she is beautiful so it’s fine

Anyway I just cried at the end then when the song played and Alice showed Edward the future where Renesmee is older and happy and everyone is still together and good, sticky tears cooling me down.

Best films, SO easy to watch. I kept thinking ’thank you Stephanie Meyer’ and also ‘when is the next IP like this coming along’?? i wonder will I be too old to get into it in the same way, like does Twilight only bang because I read the books in school? or will I always love the high school + fantasy YA category? god I actually have so much work to do but what if I didn’t do anything of it and I just became a YA writer instead. I think that might be in my future I’m ngl I think I can channel the melodrama - - - but idk if I’ll ever top wolf love interest imprinting on demon baby daughter but that’s my goal isn’t it, I have to try