took some more film photos


I am writing this in a bit of a daze so forgive me. Or don’t. I quite like writing when fatigue makes me feel uninhibited, for the same reason I play games better in this state. Quicker to get into a flow state, which I think is my body spiting the pain. Anyway, here I am. I took more photos on the film camera my Nan gave me. The first roll was black and white, and the second was colour. I asked our Instagram acolytes where’s best to develop this stuff, because the local place by me is £££scary. The most recommended by far was Take It Easy lab in Leeds. I was… hesitant. Just because even though it was slightly cheaper, it meant posting the film roll rather than walking it to the other store near me. And what if it got lost in the post! Ngl, in my 29 years, not one thing I’ve sent has gotten lost in the post. Everything always turns up. But I have become so sentimental about film photos, and time, and one-off-ness, and memories, and the rare opportunities my energy allows me to actually see friends IRL. So, what if the film gets lost in the post!!! Didn’t happen. Instead, my boyfriend posted the film for me, and the very next day I got an email from Take It Easy Lab linking me to a dropbox with all the scans. The next day! The other place (Max Spielmann fyi) took 2 weeks, no scans. I was thrilled. But I also… wasn’t. So many of my pictures were blurry 8-( T_T Not because of the speedy Leeds lab, but because I am still learning how to use this camera and arfgrgrrhrh. Anyway, here are my favourite in-focus pictures and even some of the blurry ones because I like to imagine what they would have liked if they’d worked :)

Look at my beautiful friends

Zarina doing a heart sign with her fingers next to a neon light of the same heart-finger design

Gab and Vishal smiling in front of soft mint green neon lights

Vishal smiling alone

Zarina and Priya mid-laugh and mid-blur

Went to Renshaw St Market with ZM, my best most cleverest pal Priya, and Vishal Kumaraswamy who was visiting Liverpool :D look at way the colours in the neon lights turned all milky, toned down, lovely!

look it’s me:

gab against a concrete wall, with pink hair and octagonal tinted glasses

look it’s a white pube specsavers advert:

gab and zarina both wearing funky glasses, gab's are octagonal and tinted and zarina's are tortoise shell and chunky

god bless us:

a picture of zarina and gab but it's blurry

forgot to tell everyone to stand still while looking at some art in the biennial:

Zarina and Priya looking at art in the biennial but it's kinda blurry and hard to see any of the art

Told Zarina to do a big vape smoke:

zarina vaping in the tobacco docks in liverpool

Zarina was up because she was doing an event at Dead Ink Bookshop where she was interviewing Polly Barton about her book Porn:

Zarina and Polly Barton smiling outside of Dead Ink on smithdown road

I was the designated photographer but whoever gave me that task is dumb because I can’t reliably use my camera hahaha

Zarina and Polly Barton at the front of a small crowd in the bookshop mid-event

Zarina and Polly Barton at the front of a small crowd in the bookshop mid-event

okay shift gears, it’s Coco time:

my black cat Coco on the top of her floor to ceiling cat stand

Coco in lovely sunlight

shift gears again: John Moores painting prize judging days, focus INTERMITTENT:

Gab and Zarina slightly blurry posing against a white wall, calmly

this was the view from the hotel (I do like living in liverpool very nice very nice):

Anglican cathedral with rooftops in Liverpool

The Liverpool skyline with the liverbirds and Radio City tower visible under a gloomy sky

Finally, two pictures that would have been great if I could get my shit together:

Zarina on a bench in the Walker Art Gallery but it's blurry

Gab posing in the waker art gallery with a green skirt on but it's ever so slightly blurry lol

I’m kinda struggling a lot with my health at the moment so it is nice to reflect on these beautiful beautiful film photos. Like, even if it costs more than taking 100,000 iphone pictures – if it’s risky not being able to see the result for a while, and a faff to have to send them away to get developed – they feel like real memories in a way that camera roll debris simply does not. And that helps tbh. Because it makes me think, yes, nice things have happened in my life, and nice things will happen again. The only thing is, I wish I thought to take film photos of my bed life. My bedtivities. Knitting in slow-motion when I can’t really think. Up at 6AM because it’s the only time I can. I should dedicate a film roll to fatigue. It is an ugly state that I do not think is worth remembering (and one I’m not even sure will translate properly to camera) but then… I look at this handful of photos of me outside and it feels like something that happened in another life. I gotta get film photos of me looking like a zombie to balance the scales tbh. Coming soon.