LADS I FANCY #29

hello & welcome back to ✨LADS I FANCY✨, a TWP blog series where i just show u all the ✨LADS I FANCY✨ !!!

i have a new scientific theory. it’s called contextual hotness. it isn’t that new, because i kind of mentioned it in another LIF about the Japanese fisherman and his tik toks (he was hot on the boat, not hot on dry land – contextual hotness). i am rolling this out as a universal theory now. everyone is hot in some, at least ONE context. if you think ur not hot, you just haven’t found ur hot context. pray that ur hot context isn’t on a japanese scallop fishing boat, bc then you’d have to commit to a whole entire lifestyle. i think my hot context is in the queue at pret a manger.

it doesn’t have to be a place! it’s not specific! your hot context could be; arguing with someone at a bus stop, holding all your grocery items in one hand in the self-checkout queue, being competent at your job, being Zoe Kravitz’s art boyfriend – the potential is honestly endless and completely subjective. i am actually not the arbiter of hotness, even though i secretly think i am.

it’s about TASTE, TYPE, the LATENTLY EROTIC, the way DESIRE DECLARES ITSELF. my boyfriend claims to be able to GUESS what i find contextually hot and he is actually so frighteningly accurate that i fear he may no longer be guessing (i fear he KNOWS). but what he doesn’t know is that contextual hotness is fundamentally INEFFABLE. it’s a VIBE BASED KNOWLEDGE SYSTEM. i am not in charge of when it lands! sometimes it just hits me like a bus! sometimes it TAKES ME BY SURPRISE!

this lad was unexpected. he was a rogue entity on my fit lads radar. then i saw this photo on twitter and it was like – there it is. contextual hotness.

29: THIS ONE PHOTO OF MILO VENTIMIGLIA

DON’T tell me that Milo Ventimiglia is a certified Hot Boy. i simply don’t want to hear it! i know he was a 90s teen heart throb, i know he was in Gilmore Girls, ok, I KNOW. all this time there was KEY INFORMATION MISSING. we didn’t know that he is ABSOLUTELY STACKED.

missing info aside, this is an important image bc even tho MV is a CHB (certified Hot Boy, keep up) this photo is him in his hot context. he has a miilion things in one hand: HOT. he is wearing slutty little shorts: HOT. he is tilting his head down a bit, lowering his chin in a scowl and SCOWLING is: HOT. there’s a fundamental air of mystery (where’s he going, what’s he up to, what did he have for breakfast, does he know that cats just think we’re big bald cats and that they dont understand we’re a different species??): HOT.

hot! context! contextually! hot! thank you for coming to my ted talk. see u next week.